Preparing for a Good Confession

Instructions of St. Theophan the Recluse

Bishop of Tambov (+1894)

A gracious God gives us the hope of forgiveness of guilt, if we repent with contrition and set forth a firm intention to flee past sins and not anger God by them. This is the essence of repentance.

Do not just be a passionless seeker of your shortcomings; mourn them, and sincerely regret that they were committed. Mourning begets the humble resolution to flee shortcomings; while knowledge alone, although it is accompanied by the intention to be cautious, leads to pride from which deliver us, O Lord!

Once you have made (1) the decision to flee your sins, it is then necessary to plan and (2) decide how to do this successfully, so that you can begin the actual healing of yourself from this moment on. Suppose, for example, that you get angry at something. Do not get angrier. Then decide the best way to correct yourself so that you do not get angry again. Do the same thing with everything else. You must do this now, before the fact. Decide how you are going to act in a particular instance so that you do not repeat a shortcoming. The best way to go about this is (3) to write down your shortcomings as soon as you are aware of them, and write out a prescription for how you intend to correct them.

Along with mourning for one's sins and resolving not to sin, (4) it is necessary to add diligent prayer to the Lord so that He will grant His help in opposing sin, and also to believe that the Lord will not withhold such help.

Christians must possess the firm conviction that the sins they mourn and confess and promise to flee from are forgiven by the Lord's grace for the sake of His death on the Cross. They must also believe that at the same time the Divine blessing is being given for the avoidance of sin by virtue of that same death on the Cross. This blessing is bestowed in the presence of a strong resolution not to sin and a clear and firm belief in Christ the Savior.

When you finish doing these things, you will be ready for Confession and when you receive absolution for your sins at Confession, you will be ready for Holy Communion.

Why some fear Confession

Some fear the priest-confessor. He is merely a witness, the Lord accepts our sins. It is He Who commands the confessor to give absolution to the person who confesses; it is the Lord Who is merciful. He is just waiting for a person to confess his sins, and as soon as he does, He immediately forgives him. What is there to fear from such a Lord? Others fear Confession because they are not sure what should be said at Confession. Others fear Confession because they rarely confess. If such people were to confess more often, they would not be afraid.

In Confession, you speak, not the priest-confessor.

Write down everything you find that you need to say at Confession, and when you go to the priest, tell him everything with the help of your notes. A true Confession must indeed be your own--that is, the person who confesses must himself tell everything in which he has sinned without expecting the priest to ask him. You yourself are to tell everything that is on your conscience. It is possible to remember everything without notes, just make sure you tell everything.

Final Counsels

When fear comes before Confession, drive it away. Reverential fear of God is something that is very valuable, but childish fear is harmful. It has nothing to do with the matter; it is something the demons cause. The main thing in repentance is the anguish of the heart over being deficient in the Lord's eyes and a firm resolution to try to be diligent in the future. No matter how few your sins are and how minor they are, all the same they are sins and come under Divine disfavor.

On Preparing for Holy Confession

An Instruction of St. Theophan the Recluse

Bishop of Tambov (+1894)

The Need to Examine Oneself

To examine yourself well, you must turn your attention to the three aspects of our active life. These aspects are: (1) the actions - those isolated acts which are performed at a given time and at a given place and under given circumstances; (2) the disposition of the heart - and the characteristic tendencies which are concealed beneath the actions; and (3) the general character of life.

Our entire life is made up of an uninterrupted series of acts, thoughts, words, deeds, some giving way to others, with these in turn being followed by still others. Look over all these acts, each one separately; there is no way to define their moral value. Even if you took it into your head to review and reassess the acts you have accomplished in one day, you would not be able to do it. How many times does he change his mind and redo things from morning until evening! How many things does he commit from Confession to Confession!

You have an unsleeping guard, your conscience. When something evil is done, it does not let it slip by, and no matter how you try to justify it to your conscience, it will not cease evaluating everything in its own way: This is evil, that is evil. Here then is your first step: Listen to your conscience and all those actions which it exposes to you, without any excuse, acknowledge as sinful and prepare to confess them. This would be sufficient as the first and last step, if it were possible to be certain that the conscience itself is correct in everything.

It does happen that the conscience does not notice something because of some sort of confusion; it might forget something because of old age, and it may not consider something to be a sin out of ignorance and incomplete knowledge of what actions are necessary for us. So it is necessary for a second step: to go over the commandments and the Holy Scripture and see whether you carry them out or not.

It is necessary for the conscience to turn for assistance to the commandments of God that are given in the Scriptures. By doing this, we may recall much which we have forgotten, and much of that which is recalled will be presented in a form other than how we interpreted it.

The Scriptures, the word of God, become like a mirror. Just as each person, when looking in a mirror, sees a blemish or spot on his face or clothing, so when reading the word of God and examining the commandments which are enumerated there, the conscience cannot help but see whether it is correct in all those commandments or not. The conscience enlightened by the word of the living God, will tell this to the soul at once quite frankly. So far we have spoken only about (1) the actions. Actions are acts isolated in time and in place. (2) Dispositions, however, signify permanent inclination of the heart by which the character and way of life of a person are defined, and from which come all his greatest desires and the direction for his acts.

The good dispositions are called virtues, while the worse are called vices, depraved inclinations and passions. For a worthy Confession, we need to examine our inner disposition.

Christ the Savior indicates which dispositions a Christian must have in his heart. These are humility, contrition, meekness, love of righteousness and truth, mercifulness, purity, love of peace and patience. The Apostle Paul indicates the following blessed Christian dispositions of the soul, which are the fruits of the Holy Spirit: Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance (Galatians 5:22-23). In another place (Colossians 3:12-15) the Apostle Paul writes: "Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful."

In contrast to these dispositions are the vices or passions, the sources of all the evil deeds that ruin us. The main ones are pride, vanity, selfishness, intemperateness, anger, hatred, envy, laziness, desire for sensual pleasures, gloom and despair. Concerning these, the Apostle Paul decreed that not only should Christians not possess them, but also that they should not mention them among themselves. "Let is not be once named among you" (Ephesians 5:3).

Please examine yourself thoroughly to see if you have any bad inclinations and passions. Everyone possesses each one of them to a small degree, but they are not deeply rooted or permanent. And everyone has one main passion around which all the others entwine themselves. You must take care to seek this one out above all. After you have found the one main passion, assess the others, find the one that is closest to it, and the one that is farthest. And you will understand the structure of your heart. What a valuable acquisition! Because of this, when you purge yourself of passions and bad inclinations, then it will be apparent to you where to direct your efforts and strength, namely, at your main passion. Then you will overcome it, and all the other passions will disperse in and of themselves. As in war, once the main enemy force has been shattered, you have only to pursue the others and rout them without any trouble.

It is easy to correct actions. Just do not do them. The heart or soul, however, cannot be transformed and corrected all at once. A struggle lies ahead. In this struggle, if you do not know where to direct your blows, you will exhaust yourself thrashing about to no purpose, and you will not achieve any success.

(3) The aspect of general character of life, the spirit of one's life. This is the most important as well as the most complex element. An egotistical spirit lives for oneself and friendship with the world. Such a spirit is malicious and often able to mask itself with a facade of kindness and opportuneness that one must have the sharpest vision in order to detect. A good spirit, on the other hand, has a unique purpose; that is, having put everything else aside, it lives for God.

Thus, if we suppose that the spirit of one's life is indicated by who it is a person lives for, it should be easy for you to determine the spirit of your life. Who is it you most wish to live for? What is in your heart that you strive for? To whom do you dedicate your life.

In preparing for Confession you do not have oceans to cross, just examine what is within yourself. However, do not put this off until right before Confession. Pray to God, begin the task of examination in these three areas.